


5 Years Gone

by Jessiechaos



Series: Love The Way You Lie [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst, Bad Decisions, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Blow Jobs, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Closeted Character, Dirty Talk, Feels, Gay Bucky Barnes, Hurt Steve Rogers, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Rough Sex, Roughness, Shameless Smut, Steve Rogers Feels, Sweet/Hot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-23 00:54:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15594648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessiechaos/pseuds/Jessiechaos
Summary: What happened when Bucky and Steve meet back up after a nasty breakup.





	5 Years Gone

**Author's Note:**

> I was looking up something when writing this and I saw this photo of Chris Evans:
> 
>    
> 
> 
>  
> 
> I swore it looks like he knew I was writing porn about him...
> 
> Just thought I would share that with you guys ^_^

James Buchanan Barnes loved the familiar beat of the club that surrounded him. It had been a while. He smiled as he was handed a shot, his eyes opening back up, looking at his co-workers. They rose their shot glasses, so he raised his as well.

“To the man of the hour,” Tony Stark said, nodding to Bucky, making Bucky smile. “If not for his quick thinking, we would have been out a shit ton of money!” Tony said, as his co-workers cheered, all of them knocking back their shots. Bucky loved the familiar burn as it slipped down his throat. The waitress quickly came back with another round, Tony slipping enough money into her pocket to keep the drinks flowing. Bucky shook his head as Tony flirted with the waitress, as Bucky took another shot.

Tony smiled as the waitress left, turning to Bucky. “I still don’t see how you did it, Alexander Pierce is a tough nut to crack…” Tony told him. Bucky just smiled.

“It’s my secret Tony,” Bucky told him.

“Yeah, I’m sure daddy had something to do with this as well,” Tony snide, even in this celebratory atmosphere, Tony couldn’t get over the fact his father was the reason he got the job at the firm. It wasn’t Bucky’s idea, his father stepped in behind Bucky’s back. He almost turned down the job, but his boss, Fury, talked him into it anyway. Fury was trying to give him the opportunity to prove himself, despite his father. Fury must have sensed something in him, because that lit a fire under Bucky’s ass, which got him to land one of the hardest accounts, in only two months, under the watchful eyes of his mentor, Tony Stark.

“Doesn’t matter how I got in the door, Tony, it only matters what I can do for the company...” He told him with a smirk. “And that big fat bonus we are all getting,” Bucky reminded him. At that Tony face turned into a full-blown smile.

“Guess you’re right, Barnes!” Cheers all around. Bucky smiled, feeling the pats hit his back before he excused himself, telling them he had to take a piss. He left the table, heading through the club, going to the bathroom. He quickly found an empty stall before going in, locking it. He sighed. He didn’t like the attention, but he knew it was part of the game. He took a breath, trying to steady his nerves. He pulled a small container out of his pocket, knowing it would help him. He dumped a little of the powder on his hand, before he inhaled it, repeating the process for the other nose. He rubbed his face, brushing off any excess, waiting a few minutes for the drugs to hit his system, that familiar euphoria going through his veins. He was ready to face the world again.

He quickly came back to the table, finding a shot waiting for him.

“You’re lagging behind, Barnes,” Tony challenged. Bucky shook his head before taking the shot, getting a laugh from his co-workers.

“Hello, ladies,” Tony said, to a few girls, barely old enough to drink, as they walked passed them. Tony flashed them his most flirty smile. They smiled back, interested. Bucky rolled his eyes. ‘Here he goes again.’

Bucky watched as Tony flirted with three girls at once, impressed, but not his cup of tea. He looked around the club, seeing some interesting prospects for him tonight, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to do much, with his mentor so close. He felt the hand slip into his hair and he turned to see one of the girls who had been flirting with Tony there, pressing her body close to him. He looked into her clear blue eyes, her blonde hair framing her face. His breath hitched, her eyes so familiar. He felt that dull ache inside him, the one he had been trying to suppress for so long, come back with a vengeance.

“Figured blonde was your thing,” He heard Tony say with a chuckle.

‘You have no idea…’ Bucky thought.

“Name’s Tiffeni,” She told him.

‘Of course, it is…’ he thought.

“Heard you were the reason we are all celebrating,” She said, picking up one of the shots, putting it between her lips, hollowing her cheeks before she downed it sinfully. Despite himself, he felt his cock twitch at her actions, not sure if it was from the drugs or the thought of those pretty lips wrapped around his cock. He could always pretend.

“Something like that,” He said, his voice a little husky now, their eyes locking again, those blue eyes just sucking him in. Why did she have to have that color?

“Let’s go dance,” She practically moaned into his ear, pulling him away from the table. He saw Tony’s wink before she dragged him out to the dance floor. This wasn’t his thing, but fuck it, it been too long and the way she ground up to him on the dance floor felt nice, even if it didn’t feel right. They danced a few songs before she told him she was thirsty. He smiled at her before going to the bar. He stood there for a moment, waiting on the bartender before ordering his drinks. He felt someone slip in behind him, not paying much attention, the bar pretty packed.

“Hello, Bucky…” He heard behind him. Bucky’s eyes went wide, feeling a wave of pure pleasure settling into his now rock hard cock. Bucky took a breath, turning to look into the most perfect blue eyes he’d ever seen. Ones he hadn’t seen in nearly 5 years.

“Steve…”

 

* * *

 

Steve Rogers was having a shitty day. He’d been recently hired out to protect some brat, some politician's son that had gotten a couple of death threats. Things were going well until he witnessed the brat getting handsy with a girl, not understanding what the word no meant. He didn’t mean to break the brat’s nose, but he couldn’t just sit there as he harassed someone.

Natasha nearly ripped him a new one when his father came down, wanting Steve’s blood. He watched as she skillfully resolved the situation, but he knew, losing this contract would hurt them. He sighed from his seat, as the father left, and Natasha closed the door to her office.

“I’m sorry, Nat,” Steve told him. He had messed up, again. He wasn’t sure why she kept giving him chances.

“Don’t be. I would have decked him too,” Natasha said with a smile. Steve let out a chuckle. “But seriously, Steve. You need to find a better way to keep that temper under control,” Natasha offered him.

“Yeah, yeah I know.”

“You’re one of the best men I have. I don’t want to have to let you go, but I will,” Natasha warned. Steve nodded. Natasha let out a sigh.

“Go out. Have some fun. Get yourself laid. That always seems to calm you down,” Natasha said with a smile. He let out a laugh.

“Yeah, I might just do that…”

 

* * *

 

Steve wasn’t in the club for a few minutes before he noticed the men, around the table, celebrating. It wasn’t hard with how loud they were being. Steve’s eyes scanned over the table when the cheer erupted. He felt his heart nearly stop when he saw him there. James. Buchanan. Barnes. Bucky.

It had been nearly 5 years since he laid eyes on the man. Since that night he left, that night full of screams, of both pleasure and anger, mixed together in his mind as the memories washed over him. He downed his drink, before getting the bartender's attention for another one.

He watched Bucky. He was looking drop dead gorgeous in his three-piece suit. He wondered for just a second if it was designer, letting out a chuckle, knowing if his father had anything to do with it, it would be. He watched as Bucky took some shots, quickly excusing himself. Steve wanted to follow him. Wanted to talk to him but what was he going to say to him. That the way they left things were shitty. That it took him nearly a year to pick himself up after that.

He turned back to the bar when he heard his drink getting refilled. He should just ignore him or leave. There was plenty of places to get wasted in this city.

He stared at his drink for a little bit, willing himself not to look again, but he couldn’t resist the temptation that was entirely Bucky. He turned just in time to see the blonde, cozying up to Bucky. He felt the anger well up in the pit of his stomach. How dare she throw herself at him like that, when Bucky was his.

He took a deep breath, trying to get himself under control. Bucky was never really his. He knew that.

He looked at the rest of the table, knowing they were watching Bucky. Steve knew what Bucky was doing. It wasn’t the first time he pretends to be straight to not out himself but it was still hard to watch.

He watched as Bucky took her out to the dance floor, watched as they danced if you could call it that. For a moment, he wished he was the one rubbing up against Bucky, feeling himself getting hard.

“Fuck,” He muttered to himself, turning away from the show in front of him. He needed to leave, while he still had the strength to do so. He downed his drink, shaking his head no when the bartender offered to refill it. He turned to leave when he bumped into a woman at the bar.

“Sorry,” He told her.

“Where are you going in such a hurry, sugar?” She smiled at him, looking him up and down. It didn’t escape his notice. He looked her over too, if it had been any other night he might have been interested, but not right now.

“Maybe another time, doll,” he told her, flashing her a smile before he saw Bucky make his way through the crowd, heading to the bar. Steve couldn’t keep his eyes off him.

“I see,” He heard her say with a sigh, noticing were his eyes were. “Good luck,” She said, walking away.

“Fuck,” He cursed again before his body moved against his better judgment, sliding in beside Bucky. He could smell Bucky’s cologne, and even after all this time, it made him harder. He knew he was going to regret this but he couldn’t help himself.

“Hello, Bucky…” he said, his voice thick with lust. He saw the man still before he slowly turned to look at him. Damn… he could look into those baby blues forever.

“Steve…” Bucky said, voice low and husky as Steve watched as Bucky’s perfect tongue went to lick his lips. Steve couldn’t help but groan. The things he wanted that tongue to do…

He watched as Bucky’s eyes washed over with lust. There was a laugh, and Bucky’s eyes broke contact with his, glancing quickly over to the table. Bucky looked back nervously like he wasn’t sure about something. He turned to the bartender, asking for a pen to Steve’s confusion. Bucky pulled out his wallet, pulling a card out, writing on it, before handing it to Steve. Without a word, Bucky picked up his drinks, going back to the table, where the blonde was waiting for him.

Steve ground his teeth as he watched Bucky pull the perky little blonde into his arms, giving her a hard, passionate kiss. He watched as he whispered into the blonde’s ear and she practically moaned in his arms. He turned to the table saying something Steve couldn’t hear before he grabbed his jacket, and walked away from the table. Bucky refused to look at him as he watched Bucky leave the club, to Steve’s confusion.

Steve looked back down at the card still in hand. Bucky’s business card. James B Barnes. He flipped it slowly looking at the back of it, as he let out a soft moan. On the back, Bucky had written his address followed by five simple words:

Meet me in one hour.

 

* * *

 

‘What the fuck am I doing?’ Bucky thought to himself as he sat in the cab on the way to his apartment. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this but one groan and a flash of those blues on him made Bucky lose his mind. He wanted nothing more than to let Steve bend him over the bar….

Bucky bit his lip, wondering how Tony took his excuse. Personal emergency, which wasn’t entirely a lie. It felt like one at the moment. He wondered if Tony had noticed. He was always so eagled eyed, and Bucky had worked so hard on his straight man persona that he didn’t want to get outed because of his dick over road his brain, no matter how good the fuck was.

By the time he made it back to his apartment, he was already regretting the invitation. He didn’t even know if Steve would follow him. The way he left things with Steve was quite heated. He wouldn’t put it past Steve to show up just to kick the shit out of him instead of fucking him.

‘Maybe he’ll fuck the shit out of you?’ Bucky thought as he started to clean up his apartment, trying to calm his nerves. It wasn’t entirely dirty, but he needed something to do. He needed to keep his hands busy. About 20 minutes later, Bucky was done, waiting on the couch, regretting his hasty actions. He knew if Steve showed up, he was going to turn him down. He wished he still had Steve’s number, to just ask him not to come.

“Shit…” he cursed out, getting up to pace. ‘What the fuck was I thinking? I wasn’t,’ he thought. Wasn’t the first time his dick got him into trouble. He started to fidget, his hands going into his pockets, feeling his familiar vice roll around his fingers. He pulled it out, quickly inhaling it, closing his eyes as it started to work over his body, calming him down yet energizing him in that same moment. He’s got this.

The knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts. He walked up to the door, looking out, seeing Steve. He took a breath, getting up the courage to turn the man away.

Bucky opened the door. He looked at the man standing in front of him. Steve looked at him, their eyes meeting, feeling the same electricity he felt in the club. His resolve evaporated.

‘Fuck it,’ he thought before his hand went out, grabbing Steve by his jeans, quickly pulling him into his apartment. Before the door was even closed, Steve’s lips crashed into Bucky’s all tongue and teeth, Steve’s hands in Bucky’s hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

Bucky broke the kiss, letting out a moan when he felt his back slam against the nearby wall. Steve’s lips slipping down to Bucky’s neck, teeth scraping against the pulse point, just where Bucky loved it.

“Fuck!” Bucky screamed out, thrusting his hips into Steves.

“Soon…” Steve growled into his ear. Bucky couldn’t stand it. It had been too fucking long…

His hands went to Steve’s jeans, popping the button. Steve’s hands went to stop him.

“Not yet.”

“Fuck that. It’s been too long, I need it. I need you, now,” Bucky begged, doing all kinds of things to Steve.

“Fuck,” Steve growled. He flipped Bucky, shoving his chest against the wall, making Bucky pur. God how Steve missed this.

Bucky nearly screamed when he felt Steve’s teeth attacking his neck, rubbing his ass against Steve’s hard cock.

“I need it,” Bucky panted out and Steve nearly lost it. Steve’s hand slipped around Bucky’s hips, unbuttoning Bucky's slacks. Bucky let out a loud groan. “Wallet,” Bucky panted when he felt his slacks slipping off his hips, exposing his ass to Steve. Steve’s hands slipped around Bucky’s slacks, finding the wallet, before pulling it out. He quickly opened it, knowing what was in there.

“Always the boy scout,” Steve purred, as he pulled the condom and small pack of lube out of the wallet before dropping it to the ground. Bucky turned to look at Steve, their eyes locking as his hand went to Steve’s hand, taking the condom away, giving him a heated look. They exchange glances, Bucky sending him a silent plea.

“Are you sure?” Steve asked.

“I want… everything,” Bucky told him, before dropping the condom on the floor. Steve’s kisses Bucky passionately before breaking it, ripping open the packet with his teeth, spreading a little over his fingers. When Bucky felt Steve’s slick fingers rub against his hole, his forehead rested on the wall, the coolness inviting against his flushed skin. Bucky moaned out when he felt the slick digit slip inside him, slowly opening him up.

“God. More. Please,” Bucky whined. Steve’s finger slipped out for just a second when two slipped in just as quickly. Bucky nearly screamed, loving the familiar feeling of himself being stretched out. He felt the hot breath on his ear.

“God, I love the way you look, taking in my fingers. So hungry for it. My little cock slut. My Bucky,” Steve growled. Bucky’s head leaned back, resting on Steve’s shoulder as Steve leaned down, to kiss Bucky’s neck, fucking him with his fingers. Steve’s fingers searched for the spot within Bucky that would send him soring.

“Fuck!” Bucky nearly screamed when he brushed up against it.

“There we go,” Steve purred into Bucky’s ear. Bucky pushed back against his fingers, fucking himself.

“Enough, I’m ready,” Bucky told him.

“So demanding,” Steve teased him, nipping on his ear, slipping his fingers from Bucky’s body.

“Just. Fuck me,“ Bucky begged, doing all sorts of things to Steve’s body. Steve quickly tore open his jeans, slipping his extremely hard cock out, quickly slicking it up with a groan. He rubbed the slicked up tip against Bucky’s entrance, hearing Bucky’s whimper. Bucky felt a hand on his hip, holding on as he lined himself up, before slipping slowly into Bucky’s waiting heat.

“Steve,” Bucky groaned out, feeling the familiar burn as Steve pushed completely inside him, stretching him just right. Bucky felt Steve’s lips on the back of his neck, as Steve’s other hand went to his hip.

“God. You’re still so... fucking tight,” Steve groaned into Bucky’s ear.

“Please, just… just…” Bucky panted before Steve shut him up with a roll of his hips.

“Is that what you want?” Steve purred, rolling his hips again.

“Yes!” Bucky nearly screamed as Steve’s cock rubbed up against his prostate. After all this time he still knew how to play Bucky’s body just right. Bucky felt Steve’s hands tighten slightly on his hips before he pulled himself nearly all the way out of Bucky’s body before pushing completely back in with a hard, slow thrust. Bucky head leaned back against Steve’s shoulder. Bucky could see that Steve’s eyes were screwed shut, his teeth clenched as he thrusts in again. He knew Steve was trying to make this last, despite how much he just wanted to come inside him. Bucky groaned, loving the knowledge his body was breaking this man down. Bucky’s arm slipped back, going into Steve’s hair, before pulling Steve to his lips, kissing him passionately, as Steve thrusts in again. Bucky moaned out, breaking the kiss.

“Just let go, Steve,” Bucky breathed out. Steve let out a growl, before his hands tighten, even more, knowing there would be bruises before he pounded back in harder. Bucky’s hand quickly went back to the wall, bracing himself as Steve let go, pounding into him hard and fast.

“That’s. It. God! Steve! Just like that!” Bucky panted out, spurring Steve on as Steve fucked into that tight heat, quickly losing all control. Bucky could feel Steve’s teeth and lips between his shoulder blades, not letting up in his relentless pace, chasing both their orgasms.

“Please,” Bucky begged, feeling Steve falter just for s second, knowing how close they both were, before quickly resuming his pace, one hand slipping off his hip, sliding down to wrap around Bucky’s leaking cock.

“Steve!” Bucky screamed as Steve's hand slipped up and down Bucky’s cock just right. “Fuck!” He screams out one last time before he started to come all over the wall in front of him. Bucky tightens perfectly around Steve’s cock, making him moan as he fucked through that tightens for a few more thrusts before quickly coming hard and deep inside his lover. His Bucky. They stood there for a second before Steve felt Bucky’s knees buckle, Steve’s hand wrapping around Bucky’s hips, holding them up, for just a second, feeling his own knees weak at the force of his own orgasm.

Steve’s hand went to the wall, helping to slowly lower them to the floor, still tangled in their pants, that they never managed to remove in their haste to fuck. Bucky chuckled before sighing, loving the way Steve managed to do that and keep himself tucked deep within his body. Bucky wasn’t complaining. Steve held him close as they laid on the floor, getting their breathing under control.

“I think. That’s the best sex I’ve had. In at least, 5 years,” Bucky admitted. Steve smiled, rubbing his chin against Bucky’s neck, causing the other man to shiver, feeling the pride well up inside him. When the buzz of Bucky’s cell phone interrupted the comfortable silence between them, Bucky groaned out.

“Shit, I should look at that…” He said, thinking it might be Tony checking in on him. He felt Steve’s teeth on his shoulder, pulling Bucky even closer to him, not wanting to leave that heat just yet.

“It can wait,” Steve told him, kissing his shoulder. Bucky nodded, laying there in Steve’s arms as Steve worshiped his back with his tongue. Bucky groaned when he felt Steve finally slip out. He almost whimpered at the loss of it, but he had a feeling this wasn’t going to be the last time he felt it tonight.

Bucky slipped off his shoes and pants before getting up, his bottom half exposed as he went to his couch, to retrieve his phone, knowing perfectly well Steve’s eyes were watching him from where he still laid on the floor. He looked at the home screen, seeing the message he received, causing the smile, he didn’t even know he had, to slip off his face, as he paled a little at it. It was from Alexander Pierce. His client. The one he was able to close when he allowed the man to fuck him last week.

‘I want to meet up again.’ Who knew that 6 little words could wreck him so badly.

“You ok?” He heard Steve’s concerned voice. Bucky looked up from the phone, placing a fake smile on his face.

“Yeah, just Tony being stupid,” He lied.

“Tony?” Steve asked, trying to keep the jealousy out of his voice. Bucky chuckled a real smile now.

“My Boss. He can be a pig sometimes.” Bucky said, closing the phone down.

“The playboy with all the girls hanging off him?” Steve asked.

“Yep. the one who pushed Tiffeni on me…” He said rolling his eyes before a smirk spread across his lips. “I almost want to see the look on his smug face at the knowledge of who I really took home tonight.”

“You often take strange men home?” Steve teased him, but underneath the question, there was curiosity. Bucky tried to ignore the text.

“A few, when I was in college. But none any recently,” He told Steve.

“Oh, so that makes me special then?” Steve said.

“You were always special,” Bucky said without even a second thought. He watched as Steve got onto his hands and knees, watching Bucky with lust filled eyes at his confession, as Steve slowly crawled over to where he was sitting. Bucky felt his cock twitch at the sight. Steve crawled in between Bucky’s knees, and he couldn’t help but open his legs for him, with a moan. He felt Steve kiss his knee, then another on the inside of his thigh.

“Then why did you leave?” Steve asked. Bucky’s mouth went impossibly dry at that. When he took too long to answer, Steve nipped at his sensitive thigh.

“Fuck!” Bucky groaned out. “You know why,” Steve kissed a little higher on his thigh, getting closer to Bucky’s twitching cock.

“The real reason,” He asked, knowing the bullshit reason Bucky gave him when he left was a lie. He always knew. Bucky felt both of Steve’s hands on each of his thighs opening him up more to Steve’s wanton gaze.

“To focus on school,” Bucky said. Steve leaned in, blowing on Bucky still sensitive cock.

“Not the lie. The real reason,” Steve said, his nails lightly scraping the inside of Bucky’s thighs, causing Bucky to throw his head back.

“To protect you from my father,” He tried again.

“The. Real. Reason. I just want the truth Bucky. For once…” He said a little hurt in his voice. Bucky bit his lip before Steve resumed blowing on his quickly hardening cock.

“Tell me and I’m all yours, as long as you’ll have me. I have no place to be at the moment,” He promised. Bucky was trying to process what Steve was telling him. What he wanted from him. What he was offering him. He moved his head forward, looking down at Steve, Steve’s pupils already blown so wide with lust, but he could still see the determination in his eyes.

“Steve,” Bucky begged, knowing how much Steve loved it when he begged, hoping to shut the man up. Bucky’s hand went to Steve’s cheek to caress it but Steve just grabbed it roughly, his eyes showing a little anger at being placated.

“Answer or...” He said, looking straight into Bucky’s eyes, resolving himself. “....I walk out that door. I. Just need to know the truth,” He practically growled. Bucky looked down at him, a mixture of arousal and just a little bit of fear at the pain in his hand, Steve gripping just a little too tightly. Was his pride really worth this?

“I was. Afraid,” He admitted. Steve immediately let go of Bucky’s hand.

“Of what?” Steve said, eyes avoiding Bucky’s, fear in them. Bucky’s hand went back to Steve’s cheek, moving him to look back at him.

“Of my feelings…” Bucky answered, giving him a sad smile.

“What was scary about them?” Steve asked, his hands going back to Bucky’s thighs.

“That they were real,” Bucky admitted. Steve felt his eyes close, feeling the emotions he thought were dead and buried, rise inside him.

“I’m glad to know I wasn’t the only one who had them,” Steve said before quickly taking Bucky’s half hard cock into his mouth.

“Fuck!” Bucky said with a yelp, his hand quickly going into Steve’s hair, as Steve sucked his cock to life. Bucky felt Steve’s fingers slip back into his well-used hole, causing Bucky’s eyes to roll back in his head.

“God. Steve. You were always so good at that,” Bucky encouraged and Steve took him all the way into his mouth. Steve began to move up and down Bucky’s cock as his fingers quickly found Bucky’s prostate, rubbing against it as Steve worshipped Bucky’s cock with his teeth and tongue, making Bucky thrust up into that willing mouth.

“Steve. Want your cock,” Bucky moaned out, causing Steve to growl around Bucky’s cock. “Fuck! So good,” Bucky said. Steve smiled, before slowly slipping off Bucky’s cock with a dirty little pop that made Bucky groan.

“I promise you, You’ll get my cock buried deep inside of you several more times before I’m done with you tonight. But for right now, just sit there and enjoy this. I want to taste you,” Steve admitted before quickly taking Bucky back into his mouth, sucking him off with everything he had. It didn’t take too much longer before Bucky’s pants became sharper, his breath shallower.

“Steve. I’m. I’m.” he panted before Steve felt the familiar taste that was purely Bucky fill his senses as he quickly swallowed everything that Bucky gave him. Once Bucky was done, Steve slipped off his softening cock, looking up with a smile at the blissed-out look of Bucky.

“I missed that look,” Steve said. Bucky chuckled.

“It’s not going to be the last time, but I need a small break,” Bucky admitted. Steve smiled before patting Bucky’s leg.

“Bed. Clothes off. I want to hold nothing but you,” Steve said. Bucky nodded, getting up, going to his bedroom stripping off the rest of his clothes before getting into his bed, leaving plenty of room for Steve. A few minutes later, Steve entered the room, making Bucky sit back up. Bucky was a little curious before noticing he was now naked holding a glass of water.

“Drink. Don't want a hangover to get in the way,” Steve said. Bucky smiled before downing half the glass, offering the rest to Steve. Steve smiled, drinking the rest, before putting the glass on the nightstand. Steve smiled as Bucky laid in bed, and Steve settled in behind him. His arms pulling Bucky’s back flush against his chest. It felt so good. If felt just right. Steve just held him, feeling as Bucky slowly slipped into a restful sleep. It didn’t take him long to follow.

 

* * *

 

Bucky woke up, feeling slightly hungover. He felt the arms wrapped around his chest, legs wrapped around his legs, trapping him up against the solid muscles nestled in behind him. He could feel Steve’s erection nuzzled against his ass, his lips resting against the nape of his neck. It felt good. It felt oh so right, quickly soothing away a headache as his cock began to swell.

Bucky rubbed his ass against the hardness, extracting a moan from the still sleeping man’s lips. Bucky couldn’t help but smile as he rubbed again. He could feel Steve’s arms tighten around him, pulling him even closer to Steve’s body.

“Mmmm Steve,” Bucky moaned before feeling a sharp nip on his neck, causing Bucky to gasp. Bucky panted when he felt Steve’s hand slip up to his chin, pulling Bucky’s head back so Steve could pull him into a hot and wet kiss.

“Steve. Please.” Bucky begged. Steve groaned out. Bucky felt Steve’s heat leave his back for a second as he reached out for something. Steve’s other hand left his body, slipping between them and Bucky bit in lips in anticipation. Bucky could hear the familiar sounds before slicked up digits slipped over his entrance, slipping in with ease.

“Fuck. Your still open for me,” Steve groaned out.

“Then what are you waiting for?” Bucky asked, pushing his ass back against Steve, finding that Steve was already slicked up, causing him to moan. “Please,” he begged. He could feel Steve shift, before feeling the tip of Steve’s cock rub against him. Bucky couldn’t help but push back on it, Steve’s hand quickly going to Bucky’s hips, stilling him. Bucky nodded to the silent command before Steve ever so slowly slipped back into that tight heat. When Steve just held them together, holding Bucky to him, Bucky whimpered and began to squirm at the feeling of Steve so deep inside him.

“Shhh,” Steve whispered into his ear. “I got you,” Steve said.

“God. Steve. Please just fuck me,” Bucky begged. He could feel Steve’s hand on his chin, pulling him to his face again.

“Not this time, I want to take my time with you,” Steve promised him before pulling him into a slow but passionate kiss, setting Bucky’s body on fire. When Steve rolled his hips, Bucky broke the kiss with a gasp of pure pleasure as Steve pushed passed his prostate just right.

“There you go,” Steve purred into his ear, before rolling his hips again. Bucky’s hand went to grab Steve’s strong bicep for support as Steve thrusts once more. Bucky through his head back on Steve’s shoulder. Thrust. Bucky felt his eyes roll back. It just felt perfect. Thrust. Bucky could feel Steve’s teeth brush against his now exposed neck, before quickly sucking on the neck so hard Bucky knew there would be bruises. Thrust. Steve was marking him, claiming him as his and Bucky didn’t even fucking care at the moment. Thrust.

“Steve!” Bucky gasped out before feeling Steve’s lips on his ear.

“I got you,” He said pushing in again. “Enjoy it,” he said, teeth nibbling Bucky’s ear with another thrust.

“Please,” He begged, it was too much. Every push of those hips, pushing in just right, perfectly, like they were made for each other. Sex was always good with Steve but this… this was just…

With another thrust of Steve’s hips, Bucky nearly lost it, he wanted it so badly, he could feel it but Steve wasn’t giving him enough. He was keeping him on the edge, not allowing him to slip over.

“I can feel it,” Steve said into his ear, pushing in again. “Just how close you are, so ready to come around my cock,” he said before he shifted his hips, nailing Bucky’s prostate just right.

“Fuck! Please,” Bucky choked out.

“You want to come?” Steve asked as he thrusts in again.

“Yes!” Bucky begged. He felt Steve’s hips thrust faster as Steve’s control started to slip. Bucky nearly cried when he felt Steve’s hand slip around his rock hard cock into his hand.

“I got you…” Steve said before he lost that last bit of control, thrusting hard and fast into Bucky’s well-used body, Steve’s hand quickly stroking Bucky’s leaking cock.

“Steve. Yes. Harder. Please!” Bucky nearly screamed and Steve quickly complied as Bucky started to fall apart in Steve’s hand, coming harder than Bucky ever thought he had before, spilling out all over Steve’s hand. A few more quick thrusts before Steve followed him, a heavy groan on his lips as his hips stilled and Bucky could feel the heat explode inside him, causing Bucky to whimper.

They laid there, panting. Bucky felt Steve’s hand leave his softening cock, trying to suppress the groan. He felt Steve prop himself on his arm, careful not to slip out of Bucky, and Bucky couldn’t help the groan, as Steve’s semi-hard cock shifted inside him. Bucky turned his head, to look at Steve with a blissed-out smiled before he watched Steve take his hand, covered in Bucky’s cum, and slowly started to lick the cum off his hand like it was the sweetest thing Steve had ever tasted.

“Fuck,” Bucky breathed out, feeling his cock twitch.

“Mmm, it tastes as good as I remembered…” Steve purred out. Bucky couldn’t help but fall back on to Steve’s chest, wanting the man as close as he could be. “Come here,” Steve said, wrapping his arms around Bucky. Bucky smiled at this, feeling himself relax within those protective arms, quickly falling into a peaceful sleep, Steve wrapped around him.

 

* * *

 

Steve woke up, feeling the sun shining through the curtain of the bedroom he was sleeping in. It took him a moment to remember where he was and what he did last night. A smile slipped on his lips at the memories.

Steve slipped from the bed, his bladder overriding his need to want to cuddle with Bucky. He quickly made his way to the bathroom to relieve himself. He found his discarded boxers, slipping them on before making his way into Bucky’s kitchen. He searched around for a little bit before finding everything he needed to start a pot of coffee for the both of them. He knew Bucky would need at least two cups. His eyes lingered over the wall, the wall where he fucked Bucky up against last night. He smirked.

He moved over to it, seeing the designer slacks on the floor, along with Bucky’s wallet and the discarded condom. He felt himself getting a little hard, remembering the feeling of his lover, bare before him. He picked up the foil packet, slipping it back into the wallet before grabbing the expensive slacks, knowing they would need to be hung up to avoid anymore wrinkling. As he threw them over his arm, something slipped out of them, hitting the floor with a bounce. Steve knelt down, picking up the small vile, looking at it curiously.

He wondered what it was. He moved back to the kitchen, throwing the slacks over the back of the couch, placing the vile on the kitchen counter, before going to get two coffee cups out. He looked into the fridge, finding the flavored cream that Bucky liked, before adding it to the cup. When the coffee was done, he pours it into the two cups. He grabbed them, taking one last look at the vile as he passed, before going back to Bucky’s bedroom, sipping his cup.

Steve found Bucky still asleep. He placed the coffee on the side table, before slipping back into the bed, nuzzling the back of Bucky’s neck. Bucky let out a light pur at this, causing Steve’s cock to respond. He didn’t think he would ever get enough of him.

“Bucky, I got you coffee,” Steve told him. Bucky’s eyes open slowly, looking up at Steve.

“Hey, you said coffee?” He asked with a smile. Steve nodded. He handed the cup to Bucky as he started to sit up. He took a sniff of it and smiled. “You found the cream,” He said with a chuckle, taking his first sip of the drink before letting out a moan.

“You keep doing that, sweetheart and we’ll never make it out of bed,” Steve warned.

“Maybe I don’t want to leave,” Bucky admitted. Steve chuckled.

“Was thinking of making you breakfast. I mean you do have food in the fridge, eggs and such.”

“Snooping much?” Bucky teased.

“A little when I was making you coffee. You upset?” Steve asked.

“Quite,” Bucky said jokingly, before moving to rest on Steve’s chest, Steve’s arms going to rest on Bucky’s shoulder as they sat there, slowly drinking their coffee in comfortable silence. When Steve finished his cup, he patted on Bucky’s shoulder, getting the man to get off him.

“I’ll start breakfast,” He said before getting out of bed, taking their coffee cups before going back to the kitchen. Bucky sighed, laying down on the bed, pulling in the pillow that Steve had been sleeping on, before smelling it. He groaned before quickly getting out of bed before he got too turned on.

“I’m going to take a shower,” He called out before heading to the bathroom. After the shower, Bucky quickly got dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of shorts before leaving his bedroom, the smells from the small kitchen making his stomach growl. Bucky smiled as he watched Steve plate an omelet he made, before placing it on the bar of his kitchen. Bucky slipped into one of the chairs, ready to devour the breakfast as Steve started to make his own, a smile on his lips.

“More coffee?” Steve asked, going to the fridge to get the cream, knowing what Bucky’s answer would be. Bucky nodded before watching Steve wait on him like it was his second nature. Even after all this time, Steve took care of him.

Steve made himself a plate, before taking a bite, looking at Bucky as he was finishing up his. Bucky noticed Steve’s eyes on him and he smiled before he noticed that Steve was looking conflicted. Steve picked up his coffee, taking a long drink before he cleared his throat.

“What’s that?” Steve said, motioning to the edge of the bar. Bucky turned to look, noticing the vile of his vice sitting there. Bucky felt the smile slip off his face. He looked to where they fucked last night, seeing that Steve had cleaned up the mess, being Steve. He wondered for a moment if Steve searched his pockets. If he was trying to find something.

“It fell out of your pocket when I was cleaning up…” Steve said, answering his unspoken question. Bucky nodded, looking back at it, before looking up at Steve. He didn’t want to answer. He didn’t want to have this fight.

“Maybe you should leave,” Bucky said softly, as he turned away from Steve.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought it was. So you’re a coke-head now?” Steve said, a little venom in his voice.

“Hey! It’s to help me take the edge off. You know I’m not good in social situations. I’ve never been!” Bucky snapped back defensively.

“God, you and your quick fixes. You know this stuff is going to kill you? You need to stop,” Steve demanded.

“You don't get to tell me what to do. You haven’t been here these last five years. You don’t know what it's been like,” Bucky explained.

“Well, whose fault is that?” Steve barked at him. Bucky just stared at him, hurt in his eyes at that comment.

“Yeah, you’re right. This is all my fault…” Bucky started.

“Bucky…” Steve said, softer, trying to backpedal a little.

“No, it’s all my fault,” He said nodding his head before turning away from Steve. “I shouldn’t have asked you over. Just couldn’t help myself,” Bucky said.

“Bucky that’s not what I meant…”

“I think you should leave,” He said again. Steve sighed, shaking his head.

“You always push me away,” Steve said.

“Maybe you should take the hint,” Bucky shot back. Steve shook a little at that.

“Maybe I should. But you know what? I fucking care about you. I think I have since the moment I met you. And this shit,” He said, picking up the vile. “It’s going to get you killed. And I don’t want to see that,” Steve pleaded. Bucky looked up, looking right into Steve’s eyes, tears begging to spill over, looking completely wrecked. Steve felt his heart start to break even more as Bucky unconsciously played with the bruise Steve left on his neck. Steve’s mark.

“No one asked you to watch,” Bucky said coldly. Steve felt his heart snap at that, as well as his anger.

“Do you want to die!?” Steve shouted.

“NO!” Bucky yelled back.

“Then why!?” He said showing him the vile.

“It helps me to live,” Bucky admitted.

“There are other ways than this!” Steve yelled.

“Not for me,” Bucky argued. Steve snapped again, throwing the vile onto the floor, shattering it. Bucky didn’t even flinch.

“You’re better than this,” Steve argued. Bucky sat there, slightly shaking his head. Steve growled, before leaving the kitchen and left Bucky sitting there in silence. A few minutes later, Steve came back in, dressed, looking calmer.

“I can’t watch you destroy yourself to be the person you don’t even want to be. I can’t do that to myself. Not again,” Steve said. Bucky refused to move, to talk, Steve knew he had shut down on him. Steve sighed before pulling out his wallet, placing a card on Bucky’s counter.

“But if you change your mind, I would like to try again with you. I missed you, Bucky. More than I think you’ll ever know. But I can’t, not with you like this. If you want help. I’ll be there, but not with the drugs,” Steve said, moving over to kiss Bucky’s forehead, before turning to walk out the door. When the door shut, Bucky curled in on himself letting the sobs overtake him.

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will be slow after this. I'm heading back to work and won't have as much time to write. I have at least 2 more stories started in this, maybe more if I get the time.


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